Bring Me Back To Life

you never even tried.

i cant mean something to you, if you never even tried.

” just … close your eyes , melt into your seat , take a deep breath , and … cry ? “

text to a friend from me : u ever feel so stressed and annoyed and really anxious that u just wanna kinda really just close ur eyes and just fall into some lyrics and just melt . or cry “

i wish i was in a sauna right now . just to like destress my body .

theres really no point in complaining about anything . im sorry . good night .

okay , let me just swollow my words real quick .

bahhh , im about to swollow my words .

*lowers head in shame*

having a best friend is overrated , but it would still be nice to have someone i could talk to about anything and actually trust . like right now . im def in need of a good chat . ugh . this kinda sucks . gotta let these famous feelings out . fear . doubt . concern . ahhhh . i can feel my heart trying to escape my shirt . my palms are getting sweaty . oh wait , they are always clammy . nevermind . so there you have it . i , viviane mardy , am not a robot . i have emotions . haha - see . im not gonna wish for anything bc wishes are for disney movies . and plus , im 21 . im a big girl . lol . but it would be nice .

i know we should never take pride in ourselves but …

im proud of what ive overcome and become . it may not compare to you but life isnt a game to compare . what real to you is yours .  whats real to me is mine . God dealt me what he knew i could handle . i may have tripped and fell hard on my face a few million times . but what makes me the most joyful is that i didnt give up . the things ive considered . the things that have ran laps through my mind . selfish thoughts that would ruin not only memories of me but affect others life in some way . i lost my tran of thought . i dont really know where my words are right now . but today marks 3 months . im happier . if theres no one thats proud of me , i know God is .

and im happy .